The Brothers I Never Had

My cousins, Justin and Hunter, are the brothers I never had.  They're the people who I always take silly pictures with and act ridiculously with at family gatherings.  They're the guys who never ever fail to make me laugh.  I absolutely love them with all of my heart and soul!

Tonight, I went to see the musical "Damn Yankees!" at their high school, Saint Augustine Prep.  Justin had the starring role, and Hunter was a supporting character names Linville.  Hunter was absolutely hilarious every single time he was on stage, I literally laughed out loud watching his expressions and body movements.  Justin was an outstanding Joe!  I felt like such a proud mama sitting in the audience.

For so long, the roles were reversed.  Justin and Hunter were sitting in the audience, while I was putting on the show.  I hope they felt half of the pride and excitement watching me as I experienced watching them.  Both of them are SO incredibly talented.  We are so blessed to have such a talented family, and especially a close-knit family like ours.

I know the seats will switch back and forth between me supporting them, and them supporting me. Justin will be in college this time next year, and I hope he can find a program to get involved in at whatever school he decides to attend.  As for Hunter, I hope he sticks to theater at least until his days are done at the Prep!  I hope they can always remember what I've tried to keep as a motto in my life, NEVER stop dreaming!  You are never too small to have big dreams, and the dreams are never too big to be unachievable.


For anyone who is interested in the latest Broadway news, check out this blog! :)  
http://broadwaymusicalblog.com/

Breaking Through the Barriers

I don't know how this is even possible, but since I've been away at college, I've gotten even closer with my younger sister, Emily.  I've talked about Em before.  She's the twelve year old, and she's just a coooool breeze.  

We are SO different it's borderline questionable that we're related.  Here are some examples:

1) Emily is extremely into her physical appearance.  She does her hair every morning, her clothes always match perfectly from head to toe (even socks sometimes).  Her nails also need to be repainted like, every 5 minutes.

2) She's EXTREMELY athletic, something I seem to be lacking in.  I mean, it's pretty bad when your 12 year-old sister can beat you in a field hockey game, and she's only been playing for a few weeks....

3) She hates Taylor Swift.. I just don't understand how that's possible.

But despite of the reasons that we are so different, it's so awesome that she's finally getting to an age where I can relate to her.  I mean, I remember the middle school days like it was yesterday.  She has a lot of the same teachers that were teaching at Lakeside when I was there, so I can give her all the tips and tricks :)  

Plus, we both really like listening to Ke$ha, which is a bonding experience in itself.

AND we both get really annoyed by sitting in the house all day, so she usually comes with me on midnight taco bell runs, or things like that.

Through our mini bonding experiences, I really feel like I can finally with confidence say that my little sister loves me and we are friends.  She used to be like, this creature that I just didn't understand.... it's such a beautiful things when little sisters transform into real people :')  I'm just so thankful that I'm getting the opportunity to share my  experiences and mini life lessons or a middle school, soon to be high school survival guide :)  It's so great that we can finally relate, hopefully it can stay this way for a long time.... no one makes a better friend than a sister.

Attention: Support Needed

In anything in life, it's important to have a support system.  Some people find their support in a church group, teachers, coworkers, or even friends.  I am lucky enough to have a family who supports me, even when I'm not exactly sure what I need support for.

I'm at a difficult spot right now, in which I don't know how to deal with the college situation.  Although I love Eastern as an institution and I think it is a wonderful place, I do not think it is where I belong and where I will flourish.  I've been struggling with this from very, very early on this semester, and I was very vocal about it with my family.

At first they all said the same thing, "Jess, you're just homesick."  But I'm not homesick.  Then they said "You have to stay for the whole year."  But if I know I will end up transferring, what's the point in staying two semesters?  So I started doing my research.  I've been looking at schools, grants, and what classes I'm currently taking will transfer to other schools.  I've looked at countless schools in New Jersey, including my county college.  But  I am still not completely sure what the right thing to do is.

So while on the ride home today, my Poppop and I started tossing around the idea of me transferring.  I expected a lecture on how I needed to stay at Eastern because it is an amazing opportunity, and I need to make the best of it, and blah blah blah.  While I agree that being a student at Eastern has been a great opportunity, and I have learned about myself, it took a lot for me to take a step back and admit that this is not the place for me.

Poppop told me that my family would support me whatever I decided to do, as long as I stayed educated about the situation and didn't just blindly make decisions.  He told me that as long as I was in school, my family would be proud of me whether I stayed at Eastern or transferred to county or went somewhere like Rutgers.  That really surprised me.  I've always made my decisions based primarily on the opinions of the people I love.  If he had told me that I need to stay... who knows?  I may just stay for no reason other than the fact that it was what my family wanted.

But back to the point, the fact that whatever I end up deciding, my family will support me, means the absolute world to me.  I know how hard this decision is with the support, I can't imagine having to make it without them.

So, I know you guys are reading this.  I just wanted to say thank you.  Thank you so much for supporting me, even when I'm not completely sure of what the next move I need to make is.  Thank you for always showing me what a real, loving family is and teaching me how to support and love the people close to me.  This isn't going to be easy, but it'll be so much easier with you.

Baby Bella :)

The Rathgeb Family has a new member to the family!

The baby was adopted by our family this past Wednesday, November 7th, 2012.  She is a beautiful 8 week old little.................. German Sheppard name Bella :)

I came home Thursday night, and that was the first time I had ever met the little puppy.  By the time I arrived home at 7:15 PM, my family already had a system in place of how and when to feed her and how and when to take her to the bathroom.  My family was really working together as a team.

Don't get me wrong, my family knows how to work as a team... but it has always been different when pets are involved.  My sisters each have their own cats, and it has always been more of a competition of who takes better care of the cats and who's cat is the cuter one.  Now, we have to learn how to work together as a family to raise this puppy.  It's not about who looks cuter with the dog or who does the most to train her.  It's all simply about the dog, and making sure she is raised to the best ability that we can raise her.

I got to take my first night on "Puppy Duty" Thursday.... and it was not as easy as it sounds.  Waking up every two hours to take the puppy outside to go potty is not a glamorous job in any way, shape or form.  Being that it is November, it's extremely cold at night.  I don't really like being outside at night either...  Plus, missing out on sleep is not a fun thing either.  It seemed like no big deal, but I also knew that I would get to sleep in all day today.  I give so much credit to Madre and Kyle for willingly signing up to do this for the next few weeks until we have Bella potty trained.  

Bella will definitely be an awesome addition to our family though, and I can't wait for the hundreds of puppy stories I'll be able to tell soon :)  So everybody..... meet Bella!  Welcome home puppy :)

The REAL Jersey Shore

Growing up 30 minutes from the Jersey Shore, it wasn't uncommon to take a drive to Ocean City, Sea Isle, or Cape May for a night at the boardwalk, day at the beach, or afternoon at the zoo.  The Jersey Shore that I know and love is very different from the image projected on TV.  Me and my sisters grew up spending our summers at the shore, riding rides all night, and waiting for that perfect slice of Mack and Manco's famous boardwalk pizza!

I can remember fighting over what rides to use our tickets on, who would get to sit with my mom or dad, and when it was actually acceptable to go home.  Over the years, my family drifted apart from the Jersey Shore and leaned more towards enjoying our peaceful, week-long vacation in Assateague, Maryland... which just so happens to be on the beach.  However, the Jersey Shore has always had a special place in my heart, and we make sure to go as a family at least once a year.

This year especially, I developed a type on dependence on the shore.  From Senior Prom weekend until the week I left for Eastern, I spent at least one day/night a week in Ocean City, Sea Isle, or Strathmere.  I'll never forget loading up 5 cars full of my friends and driving to Ocean City to spend the night at the boardwalk and sitting on the beach talking about life, dancing, and enjoying the time we still had together.  I won't forget waking up at 8 o'clock on MY DAY OFF EVERY WEEK to go to the beach and laugh at the boys trying to pile up three people on their shoulders.  There is no way I'll ever lose the memories of driving to Ocean City every Forth of July with my family to watch the fireworks, and seeing the fireworks of the surrounding shore towns over the water. 

So many of my greatest memories, not only with family, but with friends and teammates, were spent living and loving life at the Jersey Shore.  So yeah.  A bunch of kids spend their time at the shore, nothing special.  Maybe not to you, but to me, its a lifetime of memories.  Memories that I hope I never forget.

I made a video to show the "greatest hits" of my nights spent at the shore, and these aren't even the half of it.  You should've been there for the times we were all having waaaayyyyyy to much fun to waste time taking pictures! 

Thanks, and I'll talk to you guys next week!  Here's to hoping the Jersey Shore can get back on it's feet before the summer of 2013...  Sandy may have done some damage, but I know how people from Jersey are.... and no one's giving up our beach and our summer without a fight!

Family Values

When I was a little girl, my family imposed some pretty straightforward guidelines when it came to etiquette.  Whether it was teaching me how to cut with my knife and fork properly, or always listening when an adult is speaking, and just flat-out respect for others, they made sure to raise me as best as they could.

While at my karaoke competition tonight, I also happened to be stressing about finishing up my latest blog post... this very post.

As I type, I am sitting in the lobby of the Centerton Country Club finishing up my blog post........ some would call it dedication.  Others would call it insanity.


Somewhere along the lines of my family teaching me everything about deadlines and never being late, I seemed to forget that the same courtesy also applies to homework assignments.......

So here I sit.... doing my blogpost.... in the middle of intermission for my competition.  I'm sure my family is sitting at the table shaking their heads, but they love me even if the lessons don't sink in right away. Jeez, that's dedication.

I guess I'm pretty lucky.

Well, I hope this is sufficient enough for you guys. Talk to you all next weeek, hopefully with a better story!:)

Do What YOU Love :)

My family supporting me after my
last performance at MSHS in
Guys and Dolls.

From the time I could speak, I was singing.  The story goes that my Poppop used to push me on the swing in his back yard and say to me "Sing loud!"  And apparently I took his advice to heart, because I haven't stopped singing since.  Now, if you were to ask my family how they feel about that, it could be a blessing or a curse (My sisters like to say that I get on their nerves, because I literally never stop singing, but I'd like to think that they miss me while I'm away at school.)

Singing "Best Thing I Never Had"
at Mr. Millville 2012

The first time I did a competition, I was extremely nervous.  Quite frankly, I didn't have the experience on stage needed to have a good performance.  My family stood there and cheered for me, regardless of my lack of presence that the other performers all seemed to have already.  When I came off the stage, crying, because I didn't win the competition, they comforted me.  My Poppop told me something that I still live by to this day.

My little sisters and two good friends
supporting me after coming in 1st

He said to me, "Jessica, you need to sing because its fun and you love it, not because you're going to get something out of it".  Those words really resonated with me.  Why was I so upset in the first place?  It was my first competition, and it was just for fun.  I got to buy cute new clothes, and go on stage and do my absolute favorite thing in the world in front of at least a hundred people.

Shortly after one of Poppop's
"Do it because you love it" speeches

So, with each competition, I looked for ways to make it more fun.  Whether it was simply in the outfit I was wearing, or singing a song I could add a shout-out to, I was enjoying myself.  Even singing the most upsetting and heartfelt songs like "Just A Dream" by Carrie Underwood left me with a smile.  If you ask me, my new found outlook on performing after his advice gives me a leg up on the competition... because no matter what, I'm having fun.  There is no pressure, only the joy of doing something I love more than anything.

I am a perfectionist and I stress myself out, and I freak out before every performance expecting the worst.  My mom and grandparents are the ones that really have to deal with it the most.  Usually I get that same line "Do it because its fun and you love it".  And you know what?  Singing is fun... and I do love it.  All it takes is that little reminder, and I'm ready to go.  Hand me the mic, put me on the stage, and shine the spotlight on me.  It's showtime.

Forgiveness: not as simple as it seems

When I was in the 6th grade, my parents got a divorce.  By January of my 8th grade year, my father was no longer in my life.  Throughout the divorce and the process of basically grieving the "loss" of my father, my mom always tried to teach me to forgive.  She would listen to me and my little sisters cry, and sometimes she would cry with us.  But if any of us ever said that we hated our dad, my mom would turn to us, look us straight in the eye and say "It's okay to forgive him".

I never really understood what this meant.  I was 12 at the time, and the word "forgive" almost directly translated to "okay" in my mind.  And in my mind, what my father had done was unforgivable.  Despite my constant denial to "forgive" my mom always tried to push me in that direction.

Poppop would always tell me, "It's too much energy to hate people, to be mad at people."  And that really got me thinking...  How much energy was I using up hating someone that wasn't even a part of my life anymore?  Why is it that I couldn't just let go?

One night while having a discussion with my mom, she turned to me and said "Jessica, forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for you."  She then explained to me how saying you forgive someone, doesn't mean that what they have done is okay.  It simply means that you aren't going to waste your precious time and energy dwelling over it anymore.  

Since our little "family breakthrough" there is one song that never fails to make me teary-eyed.  It always makes me think of my mom.  The song is "I'm Moving On" by Rascal Flatts. This song is one that I just blast and sing at the top of my lungs at the end of a stressful day.  One of my favorite lines is "There comes a time in everyone's life where all you can see are the years passing by, and I have made up my mind that those days are gone".  This song is just our little reminder that moving on is a good thing. Forgiveness is healthy.  It's not for the other person,,, it's for you.  

You don't deserve to carry that anger and hatred around with you anymore.  I challenge you to listen to this song, and really listen to the lyrics.  Let go of your anger, and let yourself be overcome with the peace of knowing everything is going to be okay.  Don't be scared.  Do it. Let go. It's one of the best lessons I've ever learned.

Meet the Family :)

Hello and welcome to The Rathgeb Girls' Survival Guide!
I'm Jess Rathgeb, and I'll be writing all of the posts for this blog :)  In this blog, what I'd like to accomplish is basically to create a life "survival guide" compiled of all of the advice, humorous, and not-so-humorous experiences that I've gone through with my family.  

I guess I should define my family.  First of all, my mom is a single mom.  Her name is Missy, and I'll probably refer to her mostly as "Madre" (which means "mother" in Spanish).  She works full time at Colonial Bank about 15 minutes from our home.  She's been to every single concert, musical, sporting event, and singing competition I've been involved in ever since I can remember.  I have two little sisters, Emily and Katie.  Emily is 12 years old and in the 7th grade.  She's going through the typical "pre-teen" jerky stage, but her heart is bigger than she lets on to it being.  She's very into fashion and cats.  Katie is 10, and in the 5th grade.  Katie falls on the Autism spectrum, and she has these off-the-wall sayings that my family likes to call "Katieisms", which I'm positive we'll encounter at some point during this blog.  My mom's boyfriend, Kyle, also lives with us.  He likes to make sure we keep our house clean and turn off lights when we leave the room, and is very vocal about it, but he's a cool guy.  He just started working as a Correction's Officer, so he values sleep a lot more now.

Some other people I'll probably talk about are my Grammi and Poppop.  Grammi and Poppop have basically helped my mom raise us ever since the divorce.  They, too, come to every singing competition, sporting event, musical, and concert.  They are always there if one of us needs a ride, or a nice home-cooked meal, or a life lesson.  They're like a second set of parents, and if I ever refer to "Carmel Road" I'm talking about their house.

Well, those are the basic people and some basic vocab that you should know to be able to adequately understand this Survival Guide!  Welcome to the family, I'll see you next week with our first life lesson!:)