Family Values

When I was a little girl, my family imposed some pretty straightforward guidelines when it came to etiquette.  Whether it was teaching me how to cut with my knife and fork properly, or always listening when an adult is speaking, and just flat-out respect for others, they made sure to raise me as best as they could.

While at my karaoke competition tonight, I also happened to be stressing about finishing up my latest blog post... this very post.

As I type, I am sitting in the lobby of the Centerton Country Club finishing up my blog post........ some would call it dedication.  Others would call it insanity.


Somewhere along the lines of my family teaching me everything about deadlines and never being late, I seemed to forget that the same courtesy also applies to homework assignments.......

So here I sit.... doing my blogpost.... in the middle of intermission for my competition.  I'm sure my family is sitting at the table shaking their heads, but they love me even if the lessons don't sink in right away. Jeez, that's dedication.

I guess I'm pretty lucky.

Well, I hope this is sufficient enough for you guys. Talk to you all next weeek, hopefully with a better story!:)

Do What YOU Love :)

My family supporting me after my
last performance at MSHS in
Guys and Dolls.

From the time I could speak, I was singing.  The story goes that my Poppop used to push me on the swing in his back yard and say to me "Sing loud!"  And apparently I took his advice to heart, because I haven't stopped singing since.  Now, if you were to ask my family how they feel about that, it could be a blessing or a curse (My sisters like to say that I get on their nerves, because I literally never stop singing, but I'd like to think that they miss me while I'm away at school.)

Singing "Best Thing I Never Had"
at Mr. Millville 2012

The first time I did a competition, I was extremely nervous.  Quite frankly, I didn't have the experience on stage needed to have a good performance.  My family stood there and cheered for me, regardless of my lack of presence that the other performers all seemed to have already.  When I came off the stage, crying, because I didn't win the competition, they comforted me.  My Poppop told me something that I still live by to this day.

My little sisters and two good friends
supporting me after coming in 1st

He said to me, "Jessica, you need to sing because its fun and you love it, not because you're going to get something out of it".  Those words really resonated with me.  Why was I so upset in the first place?  It was my first competition, and it was just for fun.  I got to buy cute new clothes, and go on stage and do my absolute favorite thing in the world in front of at least a hundred people.

Shortly after one of Poppop's
"Do it because you love it" speeches

So, with each competition, I looked for ways to make it more fun.  Whether it was simply in the outfit I was wearing, or singing a song I could add a shout-out to, I was enjoying myself.  Even singing the most upsetting and heartfelt songs like "Just A Dream" by Carrie Underwood left me with a smile.  If you ask me, my new found outlook on performing after his advice gives me a leg up on the competition... because no matter what, I'm having fun.  There is no pressure, only the joy of doing something I love more than anything.

I am a perfectionist and I stress myself out, and I freak out before every performance expecting the worst.  My mom and grandparents are the ones that really have to deal with it the most.  Usually I get that same line "Do it because its fun and you love it".  And you know what?  Singing is fun... and I do love it.  All it takes is that little reminder, and I'm ready to go.  Hand me the mic, put me on the stage, and shine the spotlight on me.  It's showtime.

Forgiveness: not as simple as it seems

When I was in the 6th grade, my parents got a divorce.  By January of my 8th grade year, my father was no longer in my life.  Throughout the divorce and the process of basically grieving the "loss" of my father, my mom always tried to teach me to forgive.  She would listen to me and my little sisters cry, and sometimes she would cry with us.  But if any of us ever said that we hated our dad, my mom would turn to us, look us straight in the eye and say "It's okay to forgive him".

I never really understood what this meant.  I was 12 at the time, and the word "forgive" almost directly translated to "okay" in my mind.  And in my mind, what my father had done was unforgivable.  Despite my constant denial to "forgive" my mom always tried to push me in that direction.

Poppop would always tell me, "It's too much energy to hate people, to be mad at people."  And that really got me thinking...  How much energy was I using up hating someone that wasn't even a part of my life anymore?  Why is it that I couldn't just let go?

One night while having a discussion with my mom, she turned to me and said "Jessica, forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for you."  She then explained to me how saying you forgive someone, doesn't mean that what they have done is okay.  It simply means that you aren't going to waste your precious time and energy dwelling over it anymore.  

Since our little "family breakthrough" there is one song that never fails to make me teary-eyed.  It always makes me think of my mom.  The song is "I'm Moving On" by Rascal Flatts. This song is one that I just blast and sing at the top of my lungs at the end of a stressful day.  One of my favorite lines is "There comes a time in everyone's life where all you can see are the years passing by, and I have made up my mind that those days are gone".  This song is just our little reminder that moving on is a good thing. Forgiveness is healthy.  It's not for the other person,,, it's for you.  

You don't deserve to carry that anger and hatred around with you anymore.  I challenge you to listen to this song, and really listen to the lyrics.  Let go of your anger, and let yourself be overcome with the peace of knowing everything is going to be okay.  Don't be scared.  Do it. Let go. It's one of the best lessons I've ever learned.

Meet the Family :)

Hello and welcome to The Rathgeb Girls' Survival Guide!
I'm Jess Rathgeb, and I'll be writing all of the posts for this blog :)  In this blog, what I'd like to accomplish is basically to create a life "survival guide" compiled of all of the advice, humorous, and not-so-humorous experiences that I've gone through with my family.  

I guess I should define my family.  First of all, my mom is a single mom.  Her name is Missy, and I'll probably refer to her mostly as "Madre" (which means "mother" in Spanish).  She works full time at Colonial Bank about 15 minutes from our home.  She's been to every single concert, musical, sporting event, and singing competition I've been involved in ever since I can remember.  I have two little sisters, Emily and Katie.  Emily is 12 years old and in the 7th grade.  She's going through the typical "pre-teen" jerky stage, but her heart is bigger than she lets on to it being.  She's very into fashion and cats.  Katie is 10, and in the 5th grade.  Katie falls on the Autism spectrum, and she has these off-the-wall sayings that my family likes to call "Katieisms", which I'm positive we'll encounter at some point during this blog.  My mom's boyfriend, Kyle, also lives with us.  He likes to make sure we keep our house clean and turn off lights when we leave the room, and is very vocal about it, but he's a cool guy.  He just started working as a Correction's Officer, so he values sleep a lot more now.

Some other people I'll probably talk about are my Grammi and Poppop.  Grammi and Poppop have basically helped my mom raise us ever since the divorce.  They, too, come to every singing competition, sporting event, musical, and concert.  They are always there if one of us needs a ride, or a nice home-cooked meal, or a life lesson.  They're like a second set of parents, and if I ever refer to "Carmel Road" I'm talking about their house.

Well, those are the basic people and some basic vocab that you should know to be able to adequately understand this Survival Guide!  Welcome to the family, I'll see you next week with our first life lesson!:)